Commitments yet not involved.

Involved with so many things. Yet I guess i don't feel connected.

Scenario today:

Grateful to Wai may and organisers for the OCF games night that comprised of OCF "fill in the blanks and MCQ", Chinese Whispers, OCF Trivia, Pictionary.

Things went quite well, until my competitive spirit came about. =x Individuals from each group competed with each other. It gets real sore when you are beaten like 10-1.

Started getting all emo =x and tried playing the bass with James on the piano. Apparently, it was too noisy, disturbing the rest in the trivia games. DARN. Another shot to the heart and irrationality started to form. I'm such a failure at Loving others and being sensitive and all. ARGH

It's SO HARD! RAR. I felt so tempted at that point of time to stomp out but i know the consequences. I remembered doing that on impulse, causing so many others to worry about me =x

Just now, felt so hectic, the point in time when i start questioning if i should be serving God in ALL THESE AREAS? Just today, was doing Bible study and we touched on serving others to build each other up. I feel like I might be serving but I'm being stretched and keep a very low spirit while doing all these!

Actually, i think i'm losing my passion for the people in OCF. In knowing the newcomers and just wanting to stay and hide in one corner =x Yet Xx thinks that i seem to know all the newcomers =x She probably knows them better than I do. I hardly even get the chance to catch up with the OCFers. Even dot. hai.

Studies are getting worse now. Third year is definitely getting harder yet the amount of work that i've put in has decreased. I feel a whole bunch of things that I should put behind work yet it somehow has found its way up.

Time to start proiritising.