Once again, reverting to this habit is still the best. Though my focusing ability has yet to return to me, i guess at least by camping I'll be able to start.
I'm happy to say that I have found a good group of friends within the wushu group. It took time, say one semester, for us to bond but I'll say it was worth it. =) Now most of the girls are campers at the library as well =D (yay!)
Though a problem would be the talking and slacking while using computer, I'm trying to minimise this problem by going upstairs level 2 (yes, aussie style) where the computers would have no part in my study routine.
At 3pm yesterday afternoon, my classes unofficially ended (supposed to have a tut on friday but i went for that on monday) =D now i can happily camp whee!
Supposed to join my friend in AMI consultation but i went to the wrong floor (was on the right floor at first) so ended up back in the library after taking that refreshing 20 mins break.
Currently "guarding" my friend's computer and her stuff now. Shall use it as a last time entry before just sinking myself in actuarial modeling and financial mathematics.
Shall attempt to finish off my tutes before asking questions. Going through by myself first then listing a pile of questions would be the right way to go. Just that it's slow. Darn.
Random: Kat is on her flight back to Singapore now. Hai. One less person to talk to.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
Commitments yet not involved.
Involved with so many things. Yet I guess i don't feel connected.
Scenario today:
Grateful to Wai may and organisers for the OCF games night that comprised of OCF "fill in the blanks and MCQ", Chinese Whispers, OCF Trivia, Pictionary.
Things went quite well, until my competitive spirit came about. =x Individuals from each group competed with each other. It gets real sore when you are beaten like 10-1.
Started getting all emo =x and tried playing the bass with James on the piano. Apparently, it was too noisy, disturbing the rest in the trivia games. DARN. Another shot to the heart and irrationality started to form. I'm such a failure at Loving others and being sensitive and all. ARGH
It's SO HARD! RAR. I felt so tempted at that point of time to stomp out but i know the consequences. I remembered doing that on impulse, causing so many others to worry about me =x
Just now, felt so hectic, the point in time when i start questioning if i should be serving God in ALL THESE AREAS? Just today, was doing Bible study and we touched on serving others to build each other up. I feel like I might be serving but I'm being stretched and keep a very low spirit while doing all these!
Actually, i think i'm losing my passion for the people in OCF. In knowing the newcomers and just wanting to stay and hide in one corner =x Yet Xx thinks that i seem to know all the newcomers =x She probably knows them better than I do. I hardly even get the chance to catch up with the OCFers. Even dot. hai.
Studies are getting worse now. Third year is definitely getting harder yet the amount of work that i've put in has decreased. I feel a whole bunch of things that I should put behind work yet it somehow has found its way up.
Time to start proiritising.
Scenario today:
Grateful to Wai may and organisers for the OCF games night that comprised of OCF "fill in the blanks and MCQ", Chinese Whispers, OCF Trivia, Pictionary.
Things went quite well, until my competitive spirit came about. =x Individuals from each group competed with each other. It gets real sore when you are beaten like 10-1.
Started getting all emo =x and tried playing the bass with James on the piano. Apparently, it was too noisy, disturbing the rest in the trivia games. DARN. Another shot to the heart and irrationality started to form. I'm such a failure at Loving others and being sensitive and all. ARGH
It's SO HARD! RAR. I felt so tempted at that point of time to stomp out but i know the consequences. I remembered doing that on impulse, causing so many others to worry about me =x
Just now, felt so hectic, the point in time when i start questioning if i should be serving God in ALL THESE AREAS? Just today, was doing Bible study and we touched on serving others to build each other up. I feel like I might be serving but I'm being stretched and keep a very low spirit while doing all these!
Actually, i think i'm losing my passion for the people in OCF. In knowing the newcomers and just wanting to stay and hide in one corner =x Yet Xx thinks that i seem to know all the newcomers =x She probably knows them better than I do. I hardly even get the chance to catch up with the OCFers. Even dot. hai.
Studies are getting worse now. Third year is definitely getting harder yet the amount of work that i've put in has decreased. I feel a whole bunch of things that I should put behind work yet it somehow has found its way up.
Time to start proiritising.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
what to do when your mum gets disappointed in you on mother's day?
Tough question to answer.
That's the situation i was faced with on Sunday. The catalyst, hopefully, to grow up.
Of course, the main reason is where my focus lies. Now, it's MEANT to be studies. But as my nick in msn often suggests, it's the activities that i drown myself in to avoid too much of facing the real world i guess.
Allow me to reiterate the string of events.
Jamming sessions, Wushu, Bible studies, Neil's dinner, OCF.
My mum lamented upon that and wondered why I don't write things like "work harder!" or "studying now"..
But if there's one thing I learnt from my secondary days, it's that people don't like to let others know that they are studying. I remember asking my friends before if they spent much time at home studying. They said no. Well, I happily agreed in my heart and went home gaming. The results show the victors in the 'game of life'.
Still, do I even study? That's a hard thing for me to comment on. Because I feel and probably know, that I don't do so very hard. Or when I do, I go to extremes such that it doesn't seem to hold still. I seriously have no idea how i go through these many years of school.
At the beginning of the year I had a friend stay at my place. She exclaimed that I was studying hard. But fact is, I probably study harder than I study smart. Which is bad. Because I find myself spending LESS time on it.
Trying to force myself to come to the library. It helps me to do aBIT more work only. But at least it's a start =)
Still, of course, prefer to focus on activities.
Last week, had wushu on tues, went to the sports day by A.S.S. meant to play badminton for $2 but ended up playing more volleyball taught by mary =p got slightly frightened when the opponents got stronger (new team came on)
Ate chicken ribs at YourThai for dinner last night after wushu with jac, her mum, mary and cs. Headed to the lib afterwards and revised the front of FM3 (due to the pressure that Chris my tutor gave of having to return his slides by next week! that's like 8 weeks worth of work crammed to this week!) yet i still had to do things like assignments, which thankfully my partner happily aced. Shall have to look through the working and make sense of it though. Have to learn to do them from scratch as well. Darn. I shall not be such a slacker. Haha.
That's the situation i was faced with on Sunday. The catalyst, hopefully, to grow up.
Of course, the main reason is where my focus lies. Now, it's MEANT to be studies. But as my nick in msn often suggests, it's the activities that i drown myself in to avoid too much of facing the real world i guess.
Allow me to reiterate the string of events.
Jamming sessions, Wushu, Bible studies, Neil's dinner, OCF.
My mum lamented upon that and wondered why I don't write things like "work harder!" or "studying now"..
But if there's one thing I learnt from my secondary days, it's that people don't like to let others know that they are studying. I remember asking my friends before if they spent much time at home studying. They said no. Well, I happily agreed in my heart and went home gaming. The results show the victors in the 'game of life'.
Still, do I even study? That's a hard thing for me to comment on. Because I feel and probably know, that I don't do so very hard. Or when I do, I go to extremes such that it doesn't seem to hold still. I seriously have no idea how i go through these many years of school.
At the beginning of the year I had a friend stay at my place. She exclaimed that I was studying hard. But fact is, I probably study harder than I study smart. Which is bad. Because I find myself spending LESS time on it.
Trying to force myself to come to the library. It helps me to do aBIT more work only. But at least it's a start =)
Still, of course, prefer to focus on activities.
Last week, had wushu on tues, went to the sports day by A.S.S. meant to play badminton for $2 but ended up playing more volleyball taught by mary =p got slightly frightened when the opponents got stronger (new team came on)
Ate chicken ribs at YourThai for dinner last night after wushu with jac, her mum, mary and cs. Headed to the lib afterwards and revised the front of FM3 (due to the pressure that Chris my tutor gave of having to return his slides by next week! that's like 8 weeks worth of work crammed to this week!) yet i still had to do things like assignments, which thankfully my partner happily aced. Shall have to look through the working and make sense of it though. Have to learn to do them from scratch as well. Darn. I shall not be such a slacker. Haha.
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