suffocating

i feel like im suffocating.

despite efforts to be more hardworking, i start to realise that it doesn't work without working smart.

this fact suddenly dawned upon me as even though my classmate started her assignment super late, she worked super hard on it, often giving up her precious sleep but she was successful in figuring out the answers, getting full marks for her assignment. I guess she deserved it, for knowing the definitions well and writing them all out.

But i can't stop but wonder why cant i do the same? am i willing to spend sleepless nights slogging through an assignment question? even if i do, i reckon i'll just be STARING and not thinking. i reckon that the same piece of info would just be cycling around in my brain.

Definition meanings don't fit in my mind. Ways to figure out a question run away when i spot the different words forming the exam paper. what am i doing?!

i feel so frustrated that i tell people i'm bored. i don't know how to articulate my words out. people cant help me.

knowledge is power!

Well, at least that's what i thought.

Maybe IT IS time that i took some 'moral' subject to 'offset' the supposedly more 'immoral' or worldly way of thinking.

I've been holding on this notion that "knowledge is power" for too long, which is further enhanced by C&S where there are asymmetric information and the one with more information stands to gain though the one with less information would tend to use all means and ways to get the 'smarter' one to relay that piece of knowledge.

Looking around me, i realised all the help that i have been getting. All the (no matter how minute) pieces of information slipping past them with no hint of hesistation.

It's time i learn to share. it's time to change.

Reenrolment

I've re-enrolled into Melbourne University! Ok, no big deal right. The problem is choosing the elective subject that i have for next year. Mind you, the ONLY elective i have next year. The rest are PURE ACTUARIAL subjects. Think my head is going to burst. People are choosing derivatives, corporate finance, management subjects and even MORE MATHEMATICS subjects (stochastic modelling). I wanted to take entrepreneur finance but the lecture clashes with actuarial modelling 1! SAD CASE! now i'm at a loss.. i don't want to follow all my other friends sometimes..makes me feel as though i'm taking the subject JUST BECAUSE they are. =x which is why i took Competition and strategy this semester as my elective. bah. more things to think about. what a hassle

assignments give me such a headache..

It's not as if i start late and thus have to rush for my assignments (generally try not to anyway). it's just that i tend to rush into things and attempt the questions before i read any of the textbooks or lecture slides sometimes. This results in me being stuck and having to 'wait' for others to start theirs. Feels like i'm relying so much on them =x

Maybe it's time to learn to revise my work before attempting the assignment questions. I try to. In the shortest period of time. Thereby resulting in a dissatisfying outcome. TSK.

Last day tomorrow. Last assignment due. Just feel like getting it out of my way NOW! but somehow more and more problems seem to keep cropping up. come on, it's ONLY 5%! =x man.

i'm supposed to have studied tonight as well. But i can't focus.. not sure which subject to start studying. Maybe stats? FM? Macro? C&S?

subjects start to circle round me. hard times.

manga addict

that's it. too much manga reading is addictive. Think it's about 4-5 hours or even 6 of kinda non-stop reading. why can't i do this for my studies? gotta sacrifice my exercise if i want to continue reading so much for leisure =(

Food - junk food

It came as a pleasant surprise that i was able to spot my friends' mistakes regarding assignments (C&S, Stats). That doesn't mean that i was able to fulfil the same assignment without having to refer to theirs though. Reminds me of the inability to reject H0, it's insufficient reasons to reject yet we can't blantantly just say we accept it (though some ppl DO say so).

Maybe i should restrain from buying so much junk food now. (though technically, some would argue it's fuel food for exams) the moment i see food in my room (which is like 99.99% of the time) i just munch it down. Have already consumed 1 pack of jellies, 1 bag of wang wang biscuits and 1/4 tin can of wasabi peas. The rest of the minute stuff includes my 3 fun size packs of chocolate, boost, snickers and twix not forgetting the bigger sizes of the latter.

Also, the library i hope would become my 2nd home soon. Otherwise, i won't be able to complete my studies. 20 days and counting. That's not a lot is it, for 4 subjects. Oh no! 5 days. and Uni hasn't even ended.. One more assignment to go.

"i thought you were one of my kids"

That's what i get for being as "tall/short"(whichever you deem more suitable) as a high school kid in Australia.

After finally deciding to go for bodycombat (and subsequently, even bodyattack), headed home after getting some HH stuff (for those non economic students, HH = Households).

While walking along Elizabeth, a whole group of young ones were marching (well, not literally) the same way as i was. As a result of the intensive (well, i tried to do intensively) 2 hours, was walking slower than the group. That's when that statement popped up (refer to title)

I assumed that it'll stop there, but somehow i managed to catch up with them, because of the traffic lights (wanted to jay walk actually, but decided against it, what if i influenced some of the kids there?!) I'm guessing that the teachers were waiting for the whole group to cluster together before crossing the roads so i ended up going ahead of them.

What surprised me the most was somehow, even though i walked ALL THE WAY to Peel street already, they were (in my opinion) FOLLOWING me! So scary okie! i half was thinking why on earth are the local teachers stalking a chinese girl! Lol. So silly.

Apparently, at peel, the teacher and quite a number of students were SO CLOSE behind me. I thought for a moment they might jump on me or sth *whew* thankfully, they did not and remained civilised. (sorta =p) After i walked further to the ulu road (Courtney =p) the rest of them continued to walk up queensberry.

At that point of time, i thought that perhaps i should have plucked up my courage and attempted to speak to the teacher (an old man) where they were going.. But i'll never know now would I..